What has happened to pen and paper?

Yesterday, I heard a piece on the radio about the fact that Staples (the office supply store) is doing some downsizing.  People just don't need as much ink and paper any more!

In fact, as I am typing this on my tablet, there is a  notebook and a pen sitting idle beside me.  I had been writing on paper and then decided that it is a waste to do it twice.  Twenty - eight years ago, I wrote a 30 page paper.  I mean I WROTE it on paper with a pen.  Over the course of a weekend, I had drawn together the research that I had been gathering for over a month.  After about 30 hours of writing and editing, I had a stack of scribbled on note cards and paper that I had edited into my draft of that paper. It was finally FINISHED!  Except for one thing, I had to type it!!  That took me another 15 hours!  I remember thinking how much I wish I had a computer so that at that point, all I would have had to do was push the print button! 

But, when I finally did get that computer, I remember how hard it was at first to make that transition to composing at the computer.  To type my thoughts directly into the computer was so different than translating them onto paper first and then typing them.  Taking the thoughts directly from my head and putting them into a file on the computer was a completely different exercise than putting them on paper with a pen.

What has happened to pen and paper?

As I am typing this now on my tablet, I am seated in a room full of books. This is a reading room in a seminary library.  The shelves are lined with books, but as I took a closer look, I realized that they are all periodicals!  Most of them are bound into yearly collections.  On the binding of each is stamped the title of the periodical as well as the year.  I haven't seen one in here that is more recent than 2011... most stop about 2008 or 2009....

At first I thought, oh, the more recent editions must be on the computer... but then it occurred to me.. maybe many of them are no longer published...

What has happened to pen and paper?

Are Ashes a Public Statement of Faith?

 "Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. "So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

   "And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

   "And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

   "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21 (NRSV) 

If you, like me, have been on Facebook over the last few days, you have probably been overwhelmed by the number of postings about Ash Wed and Lent!! People are talking about what they are giving up and particularly those that are giving up Facebook for Lent have been posting that they will not be around for several weeks.  People are sharing the things that they are going to do during the next forty days and the things that they are NOT going to be doing, like eating chocolate.

Since Facebook has come along, it seems like there is more PUBLIC sharing of faith-related things.  Maybe it's just because of who my friends are on FB. Although, I have to say, I have plenty of friends who aren't religious that are my FB friends. I wonder sometimes if their feeds are filled with these religious posts...

But, when I thought the opening verse of this passage from Matthew, "Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them," I wondered about religious posting.  Do some of us just do it to be "seen" by others?

What about the ashes that you have seen on other's heads today?

Is wearing ashes on our head today is that parading in public?

Like standing on the street corner to pray?

I saw a great quote today though that I want to remember..

"We don't wear ashes to proclaim our holiness,

But to acknowledge we sin."

When I was in college, I would often give up Soda during Lent. And usually, Spring Break would fall during the season of Lent. I sang in a choir of college students and we would go on "tour" during Spring Break, we would visit various churches and perform. After the performance, we would stay in homes of church members. Invariably, when we would get to someone's home, they would offer us something to drink and usually it was "soda." (Now, you have to remember this was in the Midwest-they didn't serve tea-much less sweet tea.)  So it was always Soda...  I would feel awful refusing. I felt like I was refusing hospitality. And then I would want to explain. "Well, I gave it up for Lent."  And then I'd feel bad for acting "holier than thou" by saying I was giving something up. It was a catch 22.

But, how many of our Lenten "give ups" ARE things that are public?

When we make the choices that we are, are we making them for ourselves?

Or for others?  For show?

I came across a really cool posting and I bet you have seen it. 20 things to give up for lent.

Here are a few of the things suggested to give up:

• Impatience,
• Sense of entitlement
• Bitterness and resentment
• Blame

 Those are just four of the twenty...

When I looked at that list, I realized that it includes SPIRITUAL things-things that push us spiritually to be better people. The things listed are qualities that could be sinful.

Keeping a holy Lent has to do with moving deeper spiritually. For me, it has often involved doing something like not eating any sugary foods. But in order to make this a "spiritual" practice, I had to take an extra step. When I would crave a sugary snack, I would say to myself something like this, "you don't deserve that, you are a sinner."

But, what if I were to work on my tendency to blame others? That really is something I should be working on all the time.  But what if during the coming 40 days, I consciously made an effort to do this less often. It's not something that you would see me doing. I wouldn't have to refuse a drink or dessert from someone. NO ONE but me would know what I was working on.

Perhaps that is one way to keep a holy Lent and to keep a sacred space for God to enter in and transform me.

Are you looking for a way to keep Lent Holy?

Here's the link to the post mentioned above:

20 Things to Give Up for Lent

Give up things like:

• Impatience - God's timing is the perfect timing.
• Sense of entitlement - The world does not owe me anything. God does not owe me anything. I live in humility and grace.
• Bitterness and Resentment - The only person I am hurting by holding on to these is myself.
• Blame 

VERY different focus from Nadia Bolz Weber

40 Ideas for Keeping a Holy Lent

Day 5: Take 5 minutes of silence at noon

Day 6: Look out the window until you find something of beauty you had not noticed before

Day 7: Give 5 items of clothing to Goodwill

  

Something geared to Teens:   Weird Lent Ideas that will make you holier

 For those into Social Media:  United Methodist Rethink Church

 Here's how it's going to work: Every Sunday, we'll post a theme that we're asking you to sit with that week. As you think about the questions and images revealed in that theme, share them with us on social media using the # for that week. Perhaps you'll share a photo of how that topic speaks to you. Or maybe it's a Vine or Instagram video you created. Whatever it is, we hope these 40 days of Lent will be a time to open your eyes and heart to what's already at work around you.

40 Ideas for Lent from Rachel Held Evans

Ashes to Action Calendar is a two week devotional calendar that is dated for the 2 weeks leading up to Ash Wednesday but can be used any time. 

Chuck Knows Church A two minute video explainer about Ash Wednesday.

Ash Wednesday and Lent in 2 minutes a short video explainer

A Prayer for Healing

O God,
Who is the Great Physician,
the one who heals with a touch,
Lay your hand on me today
that I would know the power 
of your touch.

My very soul needs your healing power.
Pour out your grace on me.
Wipe away my tears.
Restore me to wholeness.

O God, heal me today.

Church: A Human Institution

This is an edited version of a sermon I preached on February 16, 2014.  The scriptures for the day were Matthew 5:21-37 and 1 Corinthians 3:1-9.

I grew up in the church with parents who were active church members, and I understood early on that Church is more than Sunday Morning.  My parents were committee members-- even committee chair persons. My father served as Lay Leader as well as Administrative Board Chair, and more than once my mother was Chair of the Missions Committee or the United Methodist Women's Unit President.

When I was in high school though, I got my first “taste” of serving on a “real” church committee.  Sure, I had been a member of the youth council, but that was different: it was full of kids.  In High School, I became a member of the Administrative Board,

as a Youth Representative.  It was an eye-opening experience.  I will never forget one of the first meetings I attended in which  one of the older, long-time members of the congregation

got angry and got up and walked out of the meeting.  I learned that adults don't always act like adults and Christians don't always act like very Christ-like-- even in church meetings.  Or maybe I should say, especially in church meetings.

I think that this is one of the hardest lessons that we all learn: people are people--even in church.  Sometimes we say things we shouldn't.  Sometimes we get angry.  Sometimes we just are not very grace-filled.

We are all sinners.

I heard a wonderful interview with Nadia Boltz Weber, pastor of the the House for All Sinners and Saints. In this interview, she shares some things that she tells her church folks. This is not exactly what she says, but this is the message I took from her:

I am GOING to hurt you.

I am going to say something or do something that hurts you.

I'm going to mess up like everyone else..

but if you leave the church because of that...

you miss the best part... The forgiveness part

If you leave before God has the opportunity to work grace,

you are missing the best part.

What I appreciated is that she said, not “IF” but “WHEN."  There isn't a question.. I will make mistakes as a pastor and I will hurt my church members. I am a sinner just like everyone else.

In fact, anytime, humans gather together in groups, there are some things that “naturally” happen. We call it politics.  Even in church, politics seem to seep into how we do things.

We begin to choose up sides, we pick our leaders, and we start to do battle.

Paul understood this and this is part of what he writes about to the Corinthians.

Throughout, he is trying to say that the church should operate differently!

“For as long as there is jealousy and quarreling among you,

are you not of the flesh,

and behaving according to human inclinations?”   1 Corinthians 3:3

In Jesus' words from the Sermon on the Mount, we have what seems to be three different topics that are covered. First, he talks about being reconciled. Second, he talks about adultery and divorce.  Finally, he speaks about swearing and speaking honestly.

Although these three things may seem like a “list” of how to behave as a good Christian, I would contend that they are all three about being authentic person. And more than that, they are all about how we treat one another.

But, it is not just about how we treat others, it is also about how we think about other persons. Even our thoughts need to be transformed by God's grace. How we think about other people is important.

Jesus says that we will be libel to the fires of hell just for calling someone else a fool!

I think that perhaps this is a good place to say that Jesus is using a bit of hyperbole in this passage, but as Adam Hamilton has said, Jesus uses this exaggeration as a tool so that we will take him seriously; he doesn't expect us to take him literally.

Calling someone a name generates the same punishment as murdering someone?  The point he is making is that we must take our relationships with others seriously.  Even how we think about others.

In this passage from Matthew, Jesus speaks about leaving the gift at the altar and going and making peace with a person with whom you might be in conflict.  This is about reconciliation... about being in relationship with another person.

However, for many of us, we would rather be right than be in relationship!

We care more about “the principle” of the matter than we care about our relationship with the person with whom we have a conflict.  But, which IS more important?

The answer in this passage from Jesus seems to be the relationship!

What is the most powerful example of this?

Jesus on the cross!!

Was it “right” for JC to go to the cross?

Did he “deserve” to die in that manner?

NO! But it was about God's relationship with us.

Sometimes being right isn't as important as remaining in relationship with someone.

I have recently read a book entitled, TheAnatomy of Peace. I highly recommend this book-- READ it, digest it and discuss it!  LIVE it!

One of the insights I gained from this book is quite simple, but one that we often fail to recognize.  When we are conflict with someone, we BOTH think we are right!  Each person passionately believes we are “right.”

When we are in conflict with someone and we don't believe we are in the wrong, we might say, “why should I be the one to apologize when I am not wrong?”

Other times, we are willing to swallow our pride and make the first move, but in our heart of hearts, we may still feel that we are the one being “wronged."

When there is still a conflict within us, our hearts are not peaceful, but they are still “at war.”

Outwardly we might not be fighting, but within us, we know our hearts are not at peace.

So, how do we make peace in our hearts, so that we can offer our gift at the altar?

I think it comes back to the Golden Rule. However, it's not just about behaving toward others as you would have them behave towards you. We also much change our thinking about others. We cannot think about others as objects, rather, we have to come to understand them as people. 

Most of us would probably say, I see people as people not objects!  But, take a minute and really think about that.... how DO you think about others?  When people are very different from us, it can be especially difficult for us to see them as living, breathing individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.  We tend to “lump” people together as a group..

oh, that's how all Duke fans are...

well, every preacher is like that...

When people are "difficult" we say things like, “oh, she's just a mean person” or ”he's always angry.”  When we make those generalizations, it's easier for us to see those other people as objects and not treat them as God would have us.

In The Anatomy of Peace  we are offered some guidance about how we can begin to see others as people and not objects.   (note: much of what follows is from the book, but I don't have page citations)

Once we can find a place where we feel comfortable enough, we can ask ourselves some questions which help us think about how other people might feel or think..

These  are the questions as I would summarize them.

• What are the challenges, trials, burdens and pains of this other person?
• How am I adding to these challenges, trials, burdens , and pains?
• In what ways have I neglected or mistreated this person?
• In what ways have I seen myself as better-than or worse-than this person?
  • or have I thought that I needed to be seen in a certain way?
  • And have these ways of seeing myself obscured my thinking about a possible solution?
• What am I feeling I should do for this person? What could I do to help?

These are not simple or easy questions to answer!

They are questions that force us to think about someone else's perspective. In reflecting on them, we can try to get outside of ourselves and think differently.

There is a story in the book about a young woman named Jenny. She is running away from a drug treatment program. Her parents have brought her there under false pretenses and when they arrive, she runs away into the city. She has no shoes on and it is summer.. the pavement is hot. Two young counselors from the drug program follow her. They give her some room, but at one point they catch up to her and have a conversation. They are concerned about that Jenny's feet are bleeding. They ask if they can get someone to bring her shoes, but she refuses. So the female counselor sits down and takes her shoes off and offers them to Jenny. Jenny doesn't take them, but instead keeps on running. Both the counselors then with their shoes removed, continue to follow her...for another three hours!

Eventually, in the end Jenny makes the decision to go into the treatment program.

What was the point of the counselors removing their shoes?  At the time, they might not have been able to explain, but in the end, they simply knew it was the right thing to do. Sometimes it's not about what good something is going to do, it's about the good that it invites others to do.

Sometimes when we go to someone and meet them where they are, we are enabling them to join us in reconciliation as well.

Sometimes, we have to “go to” the place where the person is with whom we have conflict. It is only when we can put ourselves in their place at their level that we can begin to build a relationship with them.

We cannot go there with the attitude that we are already right and we condescending to their level. We need to have the attitude that perhaps we might be wrong or at least that we can learn something from the other person.

Reconciliation is a choice we can make, but it is a choice that begins in deciding to see others people not objects and that being in relationship is more important than being right.

Now, I would add this caveat to what I have shared: there are relationships that are toxic,

that are abusive and that are completely unhealthy.  There is a lot more to reconciliation than just seeing someone else's perspective. If you are dealing with a relationship like that,

then I think some of these principles are still helpful, but I would recommend some others as well. 

Even when a relationship ends, we can end it in a way that encourages further healing

and we can end it in a way that will only prolong hurt.

I want to invite you to envision two relationships. The first is a good one.. a relationship that is whole and good and sustains you.  What makes that relationship so good? Why is it important?

Now think about a second relationship: one that is important to you but has suffered some damage. How can you see this person differently? Can you hold this person in prayer? Can you offer him or her to God for God's help in healing? What can you do to take action to move this relationship to greater health?

I would like to believe that we can really live like Jesus wants us to and like Paul calls us to,

but the truth is we are sinners.  The church is a HUMAN institution because it is made up of us sinful human beings.  We are going to mess up. We just are.

But, as Nadia Boltz Weber said, if you leave the church because of that,  you miss the best part.

Because it's about God's grace. It's about working through the hurts and moving past the bad times and allowing God's grace to heal our wounds and make us even more grace-filled.