family

What does it mean to be family?
How do we become (and stay) family?
Is blood thicker than water?
Are families more made than birthed?

The older I get, the more I ponder such questions....As I marvel at my family and how we move through life.....the ties that bind us together...

Inclusiveness

Not sure if I've written on this before now..If I have, forgive me for the rerun....

I had a conversation with a friend last night and I was trying to explain my desire to hear/read inclusion language concerning God.... I really feel uncomfortable hearing/seeing "He" or "His" in reference to God.... I said that God is neither male nor female. And he asked "what about the whole thing about "Father" and Jesus as "son." OK...so here's my personal story first and then I'll come back to the theological reasoning in a moment.

My mother was the most important person in my life--as many mothers are for their children. She was probably the most "real" Christian I have ever known (of her generation). She was deeply passionate about caring for those in need; usually serving as the chair of the Missions Committee and/or as an officer in United Methodist Women (women's missions organization). The only time I can remember her leaving home for any events was to go once a year to the UMW's School of Christian Mission. All this is to say, my passion for missions was instilled by my mother. My faith was nutured by her--every night ended with a reading from "Little Visits with God." The only items I can ever remember seeing her sit and read were Mission magazines, Disciple Bible Study, or her Sunday school lessons and circle materials...ok, so I think she had a subscription to Ladies' Home Journal, Better Homes & Gardens, and Redbook, but I think she only bought those for the recipes!

Anyway, she died of cancer at age 60 when I was 30 years old. For a long time, I was very depressed and unhappy, and found it very difficult to pray. I wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but I was probably very angry at God for allowing it to happen. She suffered terribly in the last months of her life. When she died, none of her children had yet produced a grandchild. That was her one regret. She loved children so deeply (she had been a teacher) and she wanted to spoil those grandbabies that were yet to be..... ok, so I was probably rip, roarin' mad at God, but I couldn't express that.

How could I be mad at God? I was the Associate Pastor of a large church...I had to lead prayers every Sunday and teach and preach and worship....besides all that, I knew that "She was in a better place." She wasn't afraid to die and I knew that she was with God...

So...how does this relate to any of this God language stuff?

In finally beginning to work through my grief, it took me a while to realize that the things that I missed about my mother were the qualities about her that were "God-like." What I missed more than anything was her unconditional love for me. What I wanted more than anything was to be a child again and crawl up in her lap.

Once I started to connect these dots, I began to "recover the feminine in God." The qualities that I missed in my mother were available to me through God. It was only when I began to envision God as Mother that I was able to begin to let go of my grief and begin to pray again.

So, back to the theological reasoning... God is NEITHER male nor female exclusively--but rather both. If I as a woman am created in the image of God, doesn't that mean that part of God's image has to be female?

As far as the "son" part: Yes, Jesus was male, but that was the "earthly" Jesus--he had to be one gender or the other...However, I'm not sure that the eternal "Christ" has to be thought of as exclusively male.

As for the Holy Spirit: neither male nor female.....

Our language, especially English, is quite limiting.... It places the God of the Universe into small, finite bits. I chose to do my best to not limit the qualities of God to all those that we humans associate with males.

The One who created the universe is much bigger than any of the words that we use.....

You can never have too many pictures of a baby!

the parents surrounded by their family

The Proud Great Grandmother

Great Aunt

I've always thought that I was a great Aunt, but now I can really claim the title! Thanks to the new little Clover born on New Year's Day!

Here's her Auntie R holding her!

and here's her Great Uncle singing "Sunshine on my Clover" while she opned her eyes!

Here's her proud Granddad!

And her grandmother who elicits a smile!

check out my new links

Check out the new links along the side---especially Mandy's Blog

Those are Mandy's stories of life in France!

Some Music

Here are a couple of cool music websites:

Our new Youth Director turned me on to this one. Derek Webb wrote some edgy stuff that many "Christian Bookstores" would not sell his stuff anymore. So, he was giving it away for a while..His sales picked up again so it's not for free any more but you can buy it at itunes.......take a look at his website at:

Derek Webb

The other website is a group that includes a young man who family belonged to a church that I served YEARS ago when he was just a little one! He's the one with the dark hair.

Lady Antebellum

Rev Gals Friday Five: Civic Duties

http://revgalblogpals.blogspot.com/
Friday Five: Civic Duties

It's that season of the year when lawn signs are sprouting as surely as flowers in the spring; elections are just around the corner. And so today we bring you a Civic Duty Friday Five.

1) How old were you when you voted for the first time?
I think that I was 19, but I'm really getting old because that just doesn't make sense. I thought it was in a Presidential Election that I voted, but it must not have been......because it was Nov. 1983? (oops--it was 1982!) I sat in my boyfriend's dorm room and let him tell me who to vote for on my absentee ballot! ugh! (and that ballot had the little styrofoam punches that leaves hanging chads!)

2) What was the contest at the top of the ballot?
I can't remember (see above!) . It must have been a Senate race or a Governor's Race.... My mind is befuddled because I thought it was the 1984 presidential election. Which actually took place during my sophomore year and our college had a mock convention for the party out of power--which would have been the democratics. I got to be a part of the Idaho delegation and we initially nominated "Mr. Potato Head"--ok, maybe we just thought about that one....but the mock convention ultimately nominated Gary Hart!

3) Can you walk to your polling place?
yes...it's actually in our church and the parsonage is right next door! It's quite unnerving because several of our church members work the polls and I have to walk in and declare my party to get the right primary ballot. It's unnerving because I really feel like the "brite blue dot in a really red state" that I am!

4) Have you ever run for public office?
nope and don't plan on it (even in local politics anymore, it's just too nasty!)

5) Have you run for office in a club or school or on a board?
yes...I always seemed to get elected secretary of every group I belonged to in high school!

what I needed on my birthday

My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

- James 1:2-4

That's when I want you - you knower of my emptiness, you unspeaking partner to my sorrow. That's when I need you, God, like food.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

from Sojouners Daily Verse and Voice

On the Eve of my Birthday

So, tomorrow is my 43rd birthday...what's scary is that that means I am beginning my 44th(!) year on earth. My sister is turning 40 tomorrow as well. (i know, it's strange, I'm not sure how my parents worked that one out!)

I'm not getting my birthday gift until the end of the month, though. RevHub's best friend is getting married in San Francisco, so we are headed there for 6 days! Both of us have been there before, but not together. RH has been to visit his friend several times as well as a "family" trip that he took a few years ago with his father and two sisters (the year before his dad died). My one trip there was as a chaperone for our Youth Choir Tour. It was an amazing and awful trip one and the same time....it was wonderful in every way except for the fact that we were what I would call "transportationally challenged." here are a few of the highlights:

• before we ever got on the plane in Raleigh, they had to fly a completely new plane from Atlanta to RDU for us. Needless to say, we missed our connection in Atlanta and only half of the 65 of us got on another flight that night and made it to Oakland
• Half of us made it there, but for some of us the luggage made it and for some of us (including me) it didn't
• the tour bus that was supposed to pick us up could not be found upon arrival at Oakland--evidentially it did
• one of the children got left on the bus sleeping when we arrived the hostel. When she woke up 20 minutes after he'd dropped us off, she about gave the driver a heart attack when she walked to the front of the bus.
• the next night, the second half arrived --having to take the subway with their luggage from the Oakland airport to the Giants stadium to the baseball game
• we were the last ones to leave the game because once again, the bus could not be found. In talking with a woman who seemed to be using more Chinese than English (and none of us spoke Chinese), we figured out, it had a flat tire.
• One day the driver showed up with a significantly smaller bus and we had seven people who sat on the floor in the aisle
• Finally, to top the week off, the bus failed to show up to take us to the airport. That was after the choir director and most of the choir had decided to stay awake all night since the bus was coming at 5 a.m. anyway and they could sleep on the plane. We got about 15 folks to the airport via alternate means and they made the original flight. when the rest of us finally got to the airport about 10 a.m. on Sunday, we were told that the next flight that we could get on was at 4 p.m. Monday! However, they would good enough to divide us up with a few youth and at least one adult in a group and put us on other flights...the only problem was that we were in Oakland and all the other flights were out of San Fran or San Jose and we had to hire transportation between airports. I was in the last group that flew out at 11 p.m. on Sunday, but we were the first to arrive in Raleigh at 1 p.m. on Monday (we were supposed to be home on Sunday by 5 p.m.)

SO....I only hope that this trip is better transportationally speaking than my last!!!

Well...I forgot to mention, part of my gift is that we are renting a convertible mustang! Surely that will be better!

Forgiveness? only by God's grace

There have been reports that members of the Amish community have forgiven the man who killed their little girls. When I first heard this in a report, I was astounded and thought, how could anyone "process" their grief so quickly and reach forgiveness already.

Later, I heard another report that said that the community had begun to think about how they could respond to the family of the shooter. They had talked about taking food to his widow. That's when I began to think...what a witness to God's grace.

The power to forgive is not through our own strength or goodness or will. Rather, we are able to forgive, only by the power of God's grace.

Although the report that I have linked talks also about some members of the community believing this was God's plan, I strongly disagree with that theology. But, I do believe whatever happens to us, we have a choice in how we respond and in that response we can witness to God's Grace.

By the River

More sights from Charleston

More of the City

Charleston: What we saw

Here are a couple of pictures from the Battery park (I can't remember the name of it) .

It was absolutely beautiful! Here are a couple of pictures of homes.

Charleston: Where we stayed

My sis finally sent me some pictures from Charleston, so I wanted to share some of these. I think I'll just post a few each day over the next week because she sent me several.

This is the building where we stayed. There is a stairway to the left that you can barely see. We were on the second floor in the back half of the building. Below are pictures from the inside of our "apartment."

The building that is barely visible on the left is a restaurant and the two guys hanging out in front are actually the valets for The Oak.

This is the living area. There is a small kitchen area off to the right as well as a full bath with a washer/dryer.

Here Sis and I are the door to the apartment.

This is the bedroom...and at the far end, you can see the second full bath. What you can't see is that above the bathroom area there is a loft that has exposed brick. I'm not sure that you can tell from the pictures, but the ceilings were probably 12-15 feet. The hard wood floors were beautiful and the bathrooms were lovely.

Here is a link to the website

historic charleston accommodations

It was a wonderful place for us to stay and we greatly enjoyed being right downtown where everything was happening! I post more pictures later....

Mothers and Daughters

Standing in the middle of Walgreen's shopping, my 14 year old daughter is trying to decide which type of Axe deodorant she prefers.

I notice a yellow bottle on the bottom shelf. Picking it up, I show her the Jean Nate. In my memory it is that "smelly stuff" that my mother sprayed all over herself.

I simply tell my daughter that my mother who she never knew wore this. She finds the scent pleasing and then hugs me saying, "that must bring back memories." She senses my meloncholy, but what brings tears to my eyes are not the memories from my childhood. What overwhelms me is my daughter's care for me.

Band is my LIFE

Ok...so it's not MY life--it's controlling my life though! Because it's my child's life. I was so sad to miss her very first performance at the first home football game.

But, when I did get to see the half-time show at the pep rally before the second home game, my eyes filled with tears to see my child march!

I don't think that I have ever felt so proud of something that my child has done. She has put so much time and effort into learning Trumpet and all of the marching techniques!

So, band is now OUR life as far as every Friday night game, Saturday competition, Band practices on Monday, Tues. and Thurs afternoons not to mention the Band Fundraisers including RevHub and I helping with the parking for home games! But, I couldn't be prouder of her and her commitment to doing something with excellence!

Move to France

Yeah....I wish it was me! No...it's my brother, sister-in-law and their almost 4 year old daughter! Here is a picture of where they will be living! I can't wait to visit!

He got a transfer to a plant in Grenoble, in the mountains near Italy. What an opportunity to live in a place so beautiful and to experience another culture.

I will miss them, though. It's a three to five year assignment. We hope to get over there at least two or three times, but at this point, it looks like it will be an entire year before I see them for the first time. We are taking an EO tour (4th journey of Paul) that will be a cruise starting at Athens, including Rome and ending in Nice which is about 2 hours from where they will be. So...planning to tack a few days on the trip and visit.

Alabama Constitutional Reform

In the past year, I have had the opportunity to look at some of the issues faced by those in Birmingham and Alabama who live in poverty. One of the things that I have firmly come to believe is that the situation in AL is not going to get much better until we get a new state contitution.

If you are one of my friends living in Alabama, I encourage you to go to this the Alabama Citizens for Constitutional Reform website and read. Look for opportuntities to participate and advocate. Look for ways to help make systemic change for ALL of us!

trying to post a picture

this is just my attempt to post a picture....still trying to figure this thing out!!