Sunday, July 08, 2018

Suffering Through Dialysis: A conversation in three scenes (Scene 2)

For my Doctor of Ministry class on "Suffering, Meaning, and Spirituality," I had to write a dialogue about suffering.  I decided to share that paper here because it became a meaningful way to process the past year.  Please take note, many things in the paper are real, but Pastor Bubba is NOT--rather, I chose to use Pastor Bubba as a "composite" of the awful things that we sometimes like to say to people. This is the second of three segments. 


Scene II
Time:  Six months have passed since Scene I.
Setting: Patient Wife is sitting in the dialysis unit’s waiting room while her husband completes a dialysis treatment.
Characters:
Patient Wife                Pastor Bubba               Kathleen Norris
James Cone                 Viktor Frankl              Dorothee Soelle

Patient Wife: Thanks for stopping by to check on Patient. He is doing much better.  Dialysis is miserable, but he is making the best of it.
Pastor Bubba: I am sure that God is using him for great things!  He just needs to keep a smile on his face and a song of praise in his heart!
Patient Wife: My prayers are for his strength to return and for him to endure each treatment.  This is a miserable place with so many hurting folks. Suffering abounds here!
Pastor Bubba: Well, as long as we pray, God works through us.
Patient Wife: Please, just say a prayer for us.
Pastor Bubba says a prayer and leaves.  Seated near Patient Wife are four persons.  They are Victor Frankl, Kathleen Norris, James Cone and Dorothee Soelle.
Kathleen Norris: We noticed that you are alone and thought you might appreciate some company.
Patient Wife: Thank you. Did you overhear my conversation with that Pastor?  He is a friend of my husband who always seems to show up and think he has all the answers. I’m not sure there are any good answers to suffering—especially the suffering in this place.
Kathleen Norris: What exactly do you mean by suffering here?
Patient Wife: Suffering includes physical pain, but it is more than that. Dialysis is a dehumanizing process and the suffering it creates is beyond the bodily affliction. Suffering is even greater when a person thinks he or she is going to be destroyed.[1] 
Viktor Frankl: Yes, in my experience, often the physical is not what is most painful.  Rather, injustice causes us mental anguish.[2]
Dorothee Soelle:  I find this interesting. Suffering happens when a person thinks they will be destroyed, but can’t it also be where one finds strengthening?  Isn’t this exactly what Jesus endured in the garden of Gethsemane?  When a person is conscious of dying and experiencing pain, they can come to new understandings of their faith.[3] When we can truly face this pain and uncertainty, we can move beyond fear about what is to come. When we embrace our suffering, we can be strengthened.[4]
Kathleen Norris: Yes, I think that you are on to something here.  It is in watching the suffering of Jesus in Gethsemane that we can learn how to live in our own suffering. Jesus is a model as he feels abandoned by his friends and by God.  “In that gruesome and interminable night, waiting revealed itself as a true ally, a bulwark against fear. And Jesus became the most radically free and dangerous man of all, the one who embodies hope in the face of death and is afraid of nothing.”[5] Jesus shows us how to face death.
Viktor Frankl: I don’t know about Jesus but I think I understand the psychological principles here. Even when we are fearful, if we have hope for the future or some purpose or reason for living, we can hold on. When a person loses hope for the future, they are doomed.[6]
James Cone: I would agree with you both, Soelle and Frankl. Suffering is a part of life especially for those within oppressed communities. What allows the sufferer to endure the pain is having an encounter with God’s presence.
Patient Wife:  Well, I believe that my husband is encountering God in new ways through his suffering.  His suffering continues, but it has changed. It is almost as if he has heard all of your advice about finding meaning and purpose as well as joining his suffering to Christ’s suffering.
On a communion Sunday, he heard words spoken by the preacher about how the chalice was a vessel of grace which held blood. Upon hearing those words, he realized that the dialysis machine was a vessel of grace which held his blood. Because of that machine, he was alive.  As a result of that encounter with the Holy Spirit, he began to anoint the machine with a bit of frankincense essential oil before each dialysis session.  He also would anoint himself as he sat down in his chair for dialysis. 
As the days went by, his nurses and other staff members began to ask what he was doing.  When he explained that he was blessing and anointing the machine and himself, they began to request a blessing as well.  Then other patients started to ask for a blessing.  Now, when he enters the room for dialysis, he goes to the chair of each patient and asks them if they would like to receive a blessing and be anointed.  Most do.  He anoints their heads and they often share their prayer concerns for that day.  This has been a transformative experience for him.
Viktor Frankl:  This is what I was telling you!  We can change our attitude toward life. We have to stop asking why and begin to think about what life is asking of us. Finding meaning in suffering is about how we can we adjust our attitude to make meaning in our life.
Kathleen Norris: He is making meaning and he has linked his suffering to Christ’s suffering! Because of this, his suffering has become a redemptive gift to him and others!
James Cone: I would agree when we endure suffering, it can become transformed into an event of redemption.[7]
Patient Wife: Yes, what he is doing is also relieving the suffering of the other patients. It may not be changing their physical circumstances, but their mental anguish may be somewhat relieved.  Many of them are likely to stay on dialysis all of their lives.  They are old and often come into the dialysis center on stretchers, unable to even walk.
James Cone:  This sounds like suffering can be endured and transformed into an event of redemption for them almost as a community.  It is within the community which suffers that meaning can be created and the experience can best be understood.  As they suffering together, their shared experience creates meaning.
Patient Wife: It definitely seems that my husband has been creating some meaning out of the suffering that he and the other patients endure together. In so many medical settings, patients are just numbers to those who offer treatment. So often their dignity is not respected.
Viktor Frankl:  And yet, people have the choice of how they will respond to the indignities that they endure. People have a choice in their actions and attitudes. People “can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.”[8]
James Cone: Yes, for those who suffer, the question of whether they remain faithful despite the suffering can be the greatest challenge to their spirits.
Viktor Frankl: “When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task…. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.”[9]
Dorothee Solle: When we embrace suffering—not just our own but when we willingly join ourselves to the suffering of others—we move from suffering to dying to self and finally to a receptiveness to God.[10] In this way we are attaining the image of Christ. We can only to this when we remain with the oppressed and the disadvantaged.[11]
James Cone: Yes, it is within community of the oppressed that we can best understand suffering. The community creates meaning and interprets the experience.
Viktor Frankl: I do not believe that the community is essential for the individual to find meaning.  Individuals can find meaning in suffering on their own. In fact, the meaning of suffering for each person is different.
Patient Wife: Many of the dialysis patients may have feel that no one sees their pain and suffering.  I can’t tell you how many times in the hospital I have heard patients yelling from their rooms for a nurse.  Rather than use the call button, they vocalize their need.  They yell sometimes because it seems that is the only way that someone will respond.  By visiting each patient and asking if they would like a blessing and/or praying with them, my husband is offering them dignity and being Christ’s representative.
James Cone: Suffering is transcended through giving each person their dignity. It is when the sufferer knows that God sees their suffering that they can bear the suffering itself. But this is about an encounter with God. Knowing that God sees our suffering is important! 
Patient Wife: I hear what you are saying.  By visiting each patient and listening to their needs, my husband is seeing their suffering and perhaps they are experiencing God’s presence.
James Cone: The answer is not in an assent to the belief that God sees, but an actual experience of God seeing the sufferer.
Patient Wife: Is it truly necessary for God to be the one seeing the sufferer?  There are arguments for an “emphatic witness” who offers recognition of our suffering and because of that the sufferer can gain meaning and pain can be lessened.[12]
James Cone:  Perhaps your husband’s presence might bring a sense of God’s presence, but it is the encounter with God that is important.  “An encounter with God is the ultimate answer to the question of faith….”[13] In this, God is with the victim.  God identifies with the victim and suffers with the victim.
Dorothee Soelle: Yes! Because God is either with the victim or God is the executor of injustice! If God is love, then surely God is not the Executioner.  God is with the victim. Suffering can become meaningful when we are standing with those who are oppressed.[14]
Patient Wife:  As we have talked through this, I am not convinced that suffering needs to be seen by another person in order for it to be healed. If the suffering one believes that God sees their suffering and continues to love and care for them, they may find relief from their suffering. 
(Just then, the door opens and Patient comes out from the dialysis unit.)  It is time for me to go. Once again, this has been an enlightening conversation. Even still, there is much that remains to be discussed. I hope that we will meet again.






[1] Eric J. Cassel, “The Nature of Suffering and the Goals of Medicine,” New England Journal of Medicine 306, no. 11 (March 1982), 640.
[2] Frankl, 23-24.
[3] Soelle, 82.
[4] Ibid., 86.
[5] Norris, 222.
[6] Frankl, 74.
[7] James H. Cone, The Spirituals & the Blues: an Interpretation (Mary Knoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1991), 56.
[8] Frankl, 65.
[9] Ibid., 77-78.
[10] Soelle, 97.
[11] Ibid., 132.
[12] Pamela Cooper-White, “Suffering,” in The Wiley-Blackwell Companion to Practical Theology, ed. Bonnie J. Miller-McLemore, (Chichester: Wiley-Blackwell, 2012), 30.
[13] Cone, 56.
[14] Soelle, 126.

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