Thursday, May 25, 2006
Not So Newly-Weds
Seventeen years! On Saturday, it was seventeen years ago that the Rev Hubby and I said our vows. For us, this was actually a big milestone! We are quite glad to have "made it" this long.
Most fun this year was participating in the "Not so Newly-wed game" at the RevHub's church on Sunday. It's a tradition--this was the third annual event...after the pot-luck we participated in this down home version of the old game for those of us who have been married more than just a few years! After learning that previous questions had included, how many chairs are in your home and how many windows do you have, we decided that any question requiring a number we would answer as "17"--figuring it wouldn't matter whether it was right or not--just that we gave the same answer...ok, so maybe that's on the line of cheating...but they never asked us a "number" question....
As it turned out there were four couples, and seven questions...The one question that we missed was one that I had to answer first and then RevHub was to match my answer. This question was, "You know the honeymoon is over, when your husband brings a ____to bed." My answer was, "a sleeping mask." Other answers included "the TV remote" and "a book"--the biggest laugh of the night was when the answer given by the longest married man was, "another woman"! At the end of the regular questions, there was a tie--us and the youngest couple! Oddly enough, apparently this is common--the couple who usually has won has been married the shortest time...
While after one more question, it was still tied. Then, one last question, "What would you say was the happiest day that you have spent together? The day you met, your engagement, your wedding day or some day since?" This question was actually rather difficult....
The day we met, the RevHub and I were in seminary and neither of us was very impressed with the other...our engagement was a bit of a fisasco---it's a long story---so it was between our wedding day and some day since. Our wedding day was probably very happy, but also I would have to say there have been MANY happy days since....finding out we would receive our child was one! also, our fourteenth anniverary spent in England was wonderful.
so, I finally decided to answer what I thought he would say, "our wedding"-- I could tell from his reaction to the question, he had the same response--trying to figure out what would be my response....Unbelievably, the RevHub and I won!
Here's the thing..l answered wedding because I thought that would be the "right" response--isn't our wedding day supposed to be "the happiest day of our lives." But, from standing on the other side and walking couples through the process of planning a wedding ceremony, I've come to see what a stresser that day is and how couples don't always recognized the "religious" nature of the ceremony.
The RevHub hates when i say this , but I'd rather preside at a funeral than a wedding. Not because I would wish death on anyone, but with funerals there is more often an immediate recognition that it is a worship service. However, with weddings, there seems to be so much more "cultural" baggage. As folks stand up to say vows at a wedding, there isn't always the recognition that it is a time of worship.
But, I in going back to my "happiest day" thought....so often weddings are not seen for what they are...just the beginning --not an end...Anyway...seventeen years since my wedding, there have been many happy days.....lots of tough ones too, but I'd say that I'm continuing each day to learn what it takes to make a marriage!